Raw Redemption Page 16

  Over her shoulder, Ailish pinned Henrik with a shaken look. “You said you were using me to get in. You”—her voice dropped—“you promised we were in this together.”

  Henrik wanted to claw his skin off just witnessing the pain flashing lightning bolts across her face. His heartbeat had dropped to a dull, lifeless beat at the loss of her. He’d lost her, just like that. “I can’t take you in there, Ailish. If something goes bad with me, suspicion will land on you by association. Don’t you know I would do anything to prevent putting you in danger? Anything.”

  “Including lying to get me back here.” The remaining color leached from her face. This time when she whispered, it was for Henrik’s ears alone. “Were we…was it real? I—”

  “Yes.” Henrik gripped her shoulders and shook, unable to control his own body or the sick feeling permeating his gut. “You can’t actually be doubting that. Look at me. You can’t be.”

  She opened her mouth, closed it, before tugging out of his grip and taking in the room, as if through fresh eyes. It didn’t go unnoticed by Henrik that she hadn’t given him an answer. Oh no. It was an uncertainty that made him wish for a quick death. “So what? You leave me with them, while you go to work for my father?” She shook her head. “I don’t want to be protected anymore. You know that.”

  “As soon as you tell Henrik what he’s looking for inside the house, he’ll spend the night preparing,” Derek answered quietly, addressing only the first of Ailish’s questions. “Although in this case, there isn’t much for him to prepare for, considering he’s just playing himself.”

  “Sometimes that’s the hardest part to play,” Austin interjected, with a nod at Henrik. “We have a longer night ahead than you think. Best get started.”

  Sera moved toward Ailish. “We can take you to the safe house, make sure you get cleaned up and have something to eat.” She laid a hand on Ailish’s forearm, her tone comforting. “Tomorrow is soon enough for Derek to speak to you at length, but for now, just give Henrik an idea of the lead he’s looking for. That’s all we need tonight, then you can get some rest.”

  Henrik couldn’t see Ailish’s face, but when her shoulders squared, he knew what was coming. Knew it better than anyone in the room. Ailish might have lived her life according to everyone else’s rules and plans, but she sure as shit wasn’t playing the docile daughter now. Even in the midst of the swamping dread, Henrik was proud as hell of her. Wished their connection hadn’t been severed, so he could share the moment with her. Beg her to reconsider afterward.

  Ailish dropped into the folding chair and crossed her legs. “I’m not telling Henrik anything. Or you,” she said, nodding at Derek. “I’m not cooperating. And I’m not going to any safe house. So why don’t you go ahead and put me in a cell?” She held out her wrists, an invitation to cuff her. “Congratulations, you have the Bookie Cookie in custody.”

  Even though he’d expected an extreme reaction from the captain, seeing the hardening of Derek’s jaw—along with the added interest from his squad mates—made Henrik question his decision to bring Ailish back. Question his decision to trust the captain’s word.

  “We had a deal,” Henrik reminded Derek. “It. Stands.”

  Derek laughed without humor, scrubbing both hands down his face. “Christ. This squad is going to fucking kill me.” The captain was quiet for long moments. Too long. Moments that tempted Henrik with scooping up Ailish and making a run for the door. Taking her somewhere and explaining what it would do to him if she were harmed under his watch. Or worse, if he was responsible for her being harmed. She would have to understand if he explained his actions—his reasons for lying—enough, right? Finally, Derek spoke, breaking the silence in the dim basement. “You go home, Henrik. Take Polly and Austin, get ready for tomorrow.” He lifted his head. “My word stands. She’ll be safe, and she’ll walk out of here without a record. But you sure as hell better bring me my man.” A pause dragged out. “Or you’ll be taking her place in the cell. We clear?”

  When Ailish turned her attention on Henrik this time, he saw beneath the wall she’d thrown up. Saw her alarm at the idea of him going away on her behalf…and God, he almost laughed. Baby, you have no idea.

  “Clear as crystal,” Henrik grated. “I don’t think I have to tell you that if something happens to her, I’ll paint this town with blood. Do I?”

  “Yours or ours?” Austin drawled, calculation in his eyes.

  Not deigning to answer, Henrik took one final look at Ailish, so beautiful and out of place among the harsh lighting and filthy walls, and strode from the room, painfully aware that he’d left his heart beating in the dank basement.

  Good thing where he was going, he wouldn’t need it.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ailish refused to break Derek’s stare as he paced back and forth behind the dented metal desk. After Henrik had walked out of the meeting room, Derek sent everyone packing, saying he wanted time to speak with Ailish privately. Well, he could ask repetitious cop questions until his face—which she could grudgingly admit was quite handsome—turned blue, and she wouldn’t budge. She’d been in this position before, but nothing about being the subject of a law enforcement member’s scrutiny felt the same now. In the last few weeks, she’d fended for herself, finagled her way out of two kidnappings, and been betrayed by a man. So Derek could bring it on for all she cared. At the moment, she didn’t have capacity for anger or fear. The numbness kept everything else locked out.

  Every time Ailish thought of her rambling speech in the forest about Henrik and her being a team, being on the same side, shame coated her stomach. How could she have been so far off? Henrik knew how badly she wanted independence, how much it meant to make her own decisions, but he’d made the ultimate choice for her. Put her in a chair across from his captain as an asset, a means to an end, instead of an active participant. And she’d been blind enough to let it happen.

  Go to your room Ailish, let the men talk business. How was that sentiment from her father any different than Henrik leaving her behind? She had wrongs to make up for, and it wouldn’t happen now. She’d never get the chance to make up for her transgressions, because he’d left her behind to be protected. Guarded. Talk about déjà vu. The princess was right back in her ivory tower where she belonged.

  Fine. After being deceived, however, she wouldn’t put her chin up like a good girl and help their cause. If the police failed, she would find another way to atone for her sins. Implode Caine’s operation by herself. If the police indeed let her walk away, as Derek had promised. She had no reason to trust his word, although some stubborn part of Ailish believed. Because Henrik wouldn’t let it be any other way.

  Ailish shifted in her chair, irritated at the conviction she still held over Henrik’s trustworthiness. How could she still have faith when he’d blindsided her so thoroughly tonight? Left her behind without so much as a good-bye. Again.

  “I had questions prepared, but that was before I knew who you were,” Derek said, breaking the relative silence of the squad room. Water trickled along the asphalt ground outside, which stopped a few feet from ceiling level. “So forgive me for taking my time.”

  Right. He doesn’t even think I realize it’s a tactic.

  “I just didn’t want you to think I was stalling on purpose.” He stopped pacing and faced Ailish. “Like a tactic.”

  Okay, so Derek was a way better cop than the one who’d interrogated her last time. Perfect. She still had nothing to say, but it was hard not to answer the man when he was speaking directly at her. It was rude to ignore people, after all. A reminder of all the times she’d called Henrik rude made Ailish’s throat hurt, so she curled a hand around it and breathed through her nose.

  Derek’s sigh just about blew away every piece of official-looking paper he’d stacked on the table, his demeanor changing right before Ailish’s eyes. He pulled out the folding chair tucked under his desk and sat heavily, folding blunt-fingered hands on the scratched surface. “You’re l
ucky I have a soft spot for women who take off with a boatload of cash trying to find a better life.”

  Ailish buried her surprise. “Yeah? I’m stuck in a basement with two choices. Rat out my father or go to jail. I don’t feel so lucky right about now.”

  “I can see that.”

  When the captain didn’t elaborate, Ailish’s curiosity got the better of her. “Your wife?”

  A brisk nod. “She raised herself, her sister. Saw an opportunity for a fresh start and took it. I can sympathize with that. I’ve only spent a short while in your company, and I can see you’re not your father’s daughter.” He leaned back in his chair. “And despite what Henrik did to land on my squad, I trust his judgment.”

  Hearing Henrik’s name made the stupid, traitorous organ in her chest leap into a sprint, winding her in mere seconds. Once again, a weight pressed behind her eyes, fury making her stomach burn. Too much. So much. And he wasn’t even there for her to shout at. She could feel Derek watching her, assessing, and didn’t want to take the bait by asking about Henrik. But who knew when she would get another chance to fill in the gaps? “What did land him on your squad?”

  Derek’s stoic expression didn’t change. “I wondered if he’d told you.”

  A flashback to her walk with Erin in the woods chose that moment to crop up, replay like a homemade movie. Hadn’t Erin said something similar? Just how heinous was Henrik’s crime? “I’ve met Connor and Erin. The rest of your team tonight.” She shook her head. “He doesn’t belong here.”

  “He does. He made a choice.”

  “Yes. So did I. I made them every day.” Ailish could see the desk in her bedroom, the gambling debts of unknown men spread across the surface like a bloody battlefield. Could see the remnants of her eraser, hear the scratching of her pencil. “But sometimes hard choices are all that’s left.”

  “Don’t I know it?” Derek remained silent a few beats before leafing through the documents on the battered desk. “You’re not going to tell us what we need, what we should be looking for and where. I can see that.”

  “No. I agreed to cooperate if Henrik stayed away from my father.” She massaged her aching throat again. “He lied.”

  “He made the only decision he could to keep you safe and get his spot on the force back.”

  The flow of Ailish’s blood slowed. “Get his spot back?”

  Derek blew out a breath. “I might be to blame for some of the secrecy between you and Henrik. I asked him to treat this case like a job, when it was clear from the beginning he’s not objective where you’re concerned.” He paused. “I assured Henrik I’d do what it took to have him reinstated if he—”

  “Brings down my father.” She swallowed the stone in her throat. Getting back his badge would mean everything to Henrik. Everything. And she’d been his ace in the hole to gain entry to Caine’s world. But he hadn’t taken it. Not ready to feel sympathy or be reasonable, Ailish pushed to her feet and paced toward the small ground-level window. “I’ve been kept safe my whole life. Lied to. I’m tired of it. He should have been honest. I just want people to be honest with me.”

  “Be careful what you wish for.”

  Ailish turned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Another industrial-strength sigh from the captain. “Look, I need you in that house. You’ve been inside, know where everything is located, and that’s information no one else has. It could whittle this operation down from indefinite to one damn day. And that means fewer people die by your father’s hand.”

  Her legs turned to lead. “Henrik would never agree to let me inside.”

  “He and I made a deal.” Derek stood, pacing behind his desk once more. “You remain safe and walk out of here without a record. I’m already working on the former, and there’s no safer place for you than with Henrik. Trust me on that.”

  “No.” Frustration welled so severely inside Ailish, it spilled over like an erupting volcano. “No. I won’t blindly trust you. Or Henrik. I’ve been brought here on a lie. You’re lying to Henrik, despite how you justify it to yourself.” She lifted her arms and let them fall at her sides. “And I’m done being in the middle of everyone’s deception. It’s a terrible place to be.”

  To the captain’s credit, he didn’t appear unaffected by her speech. Far from it. But there was still determination in the set of his jaw. “I would like to let you walk out of here, free and clear, Ms. O’Kelly. Free to start over. But I’m responsible for a city. And that city is at risk as long as your father’s operation is up and running. My family lives here. Millions of families. So I’ll do what’s needed. That’s the burden I accepted when I took this job.” He looked away a moment, hands propped on hips. A ditch opened in Ailish’s stomach, but she didn’t know where the sense of impending doom came from until he continued. “Do you ever wonder why we released you from police custody?”

  Say no, a voice whispered at the back of her head. But it would have been a lie, and she’d just got done voicing her distaste of liars. The captain would see right through her, and she’d be a hypocrite. “Yes. I’ve wondered every day.”

  “Henrik.” Derek shuffled the documents into a stack and shoved them into a manila folder before lifting his gaze to Ailish again. “Henrik destroyed the evidence we had against you. It’s what lost him his badge. What put him on this squad.”

  The lava that had been flowing inside Ailish turned to cement, hardening immediately. She couldn’t catch a breath. Couldn’t believe her ears. “W-what? Why would he do that? I-I don’t understand.”

  For the first time, Derek looked slightly uncomfortable. “That’s a question for Henrik to answer.” He cleared his throat. “But sometimes there’s no explanation for what a man will do for a woman. It just is.”

  There was no stopping the tears from spilling down her cheeks this time. “Did you tell me this so I’d cooperate? So I’d go undercover in my own father’s house?” Derek didn’t answer. “Why didn’t he tell me?”

  The captain propped a hip on the desk. “Again, that’s a question for Henrik. But I suspect because he didn’t want you to owe him anything.”

  “But you’re counting on me seeing it that way, aren’t you?”

  Rainwater trickled against the windows, running along the concrete outside, filling the silence. “I have a city to keep safe,” Derek said finally. “Are you going to help me, Ms. O’Kelly?”

  Ailish thought of Henrik alone in the lion’s den. She knew what would get him out of the house as soon as possible, before her father figured out Henrik was an informant. Knew where weapons were located to keep them both safe, should that become necessary. She couldn’t leave Henrik to contend with her father indefinitely. Or it could very well end in his death. Fear pushed into her indignation, but she didn’t allow it to fester. Now was the time to focus, and maintaining her anger would be paramount. There was no denying a responsibility to Henrik, even after he’d lied. Locked her out. But this mission needed to be about her. Righting the wrongs she’d committed. Calling her father to the floor for taking lives with her handiwork.

  She was going home. And when she walked out, hopefully she would finally leave the guilt and pain behind, once and for all.

  Yes, she would focus on that. Not the fact that the man she craved was in danger. How would she cope otherwise?

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I’ll help.”

  ...

  Henrik rolled his neck, trying to work the kinks out. Last night, after hours of poring through files with Austin and Polly, learning everything there was to know about Caine O’Kelly, Henrik went a few rounds with his punching bag. There’d been no sleep to be had, because every time he closed his eyes, there was Ailish. Looking stricken, sold out…afraid.

  His grip tightened on the steering wheel, making the leather creak. Breathe, man. Breathe. If he went into this operation thinking about Ailish, it would be unsuccessful. He would fail. But God, not being near her was torture on his soul. His mental state. His body. Everyt
hing.

  If he didn’t have a man hog-tied in the trunk of his car right now, he might have given in to the urge to go see Ailish. Just for a few minutes, without anyone else around, so he could apologize for lying. Explain to her that putting her in harm’s way would be equivalent to burning his skin off with acid. How romantic. All right, he wasn’t exactly Casanova, but putting himself in the line of fire so Ailish wouldn’t have to go be an informant or be interrogated past her breaking point? That was the only way Henrik knew how to show her how he felt. So that’s what he would do, and hope she received the message. Or cared enough to look for it.

  Late last night, he’d received a call from Derek, letting him know Ailish wasn’t cooperating. She refused to aid Henrik in his search for evidence, meaning Henrik would be on his own. He’d blocked the hurt, telling himself Ailish’s reticence was justified after his dishonesty, but as he headed into the fray, the hurt couldn’t be subdued. It might take a while without the intel she could provide—hell, months—but he would gain O’Kelly’s confidence and get the job done. And hope with every ounce of his being that Ailish would speak to him when it was all over. That was all he had.

  That. And a criminal stuffed into his trunk. A suspiciously quiet criminal, at that. Derek had shown up with the vehicle half an hour ago at the designated meeting stop, tossing Henrik the keys and instructing him to climb in and drive. And while Henrik hadn’t appreciated being ordered around—especially since his ass would be on the line during the operation—he’d needed to prevent himself from asking the captain about Ailish. Was she comfortable? How many times had she cursed him to hell?

  Up ahead, Henrik saw the gated grounds of O’Kelly’s house, manicured lawn running the perimeter. A suited man with an earpiece stood just inside the gate, watching Henrik approach. Expecting him? Hard to tell. There’d been no set schedule with O’Kelly. Hell, they’d barely made an agreement. Henrik pushed the car into park and waited, tapping his fingers on the wheel as the guard spoke into his earpiece. When the man finally approached the car, he gave Henrik a once-over and signaled him to roll down the window.