Too Beautiful to Break Page 21

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Belmont stood inside the shower steam, his hands flattened on the door of the bathroom. He’d gotten to the church in time, but he hadn’t won back Sage. Not yet. Not even close. Was there relief that she no longer needed to become a martyr? Lord yes. The hot water from the shower had washed away the blood and dirt, and it had managed to ease some of the monumental tension, too. But the way she’d looked, standing up on the altar like a sacrifice, would stay with him forever. I’m too late. He had to be too late. Who wouldn’t want to speed up the process of marrying Sage? It had to be over.

  Maybe those prayers he’d whispered in the bottom of that well had finally reached God’s ears decades later, because he’d walked out of the church holding her hand.

  Now she sat inside the motel room on the bed, waiting for him. To talk.

  Even if she agreed to forgive him for what had taken place on that very bed days before…she still wasn’t going to like what he had to say.

  Stopping the wedding had only been a temporary fix. They’d come a long damn way in making the love between them something that would help them grow. As people and as a couple. She’d shone so brightly in the church today, her courage and honesty almost taking him to his knees. Watching Sage overcome her own demons made him realize he hadn’t done the same, though. Not completely.

  That night they made love in the church, telling Sage what happened with Lawrence had set some of his past loose, along with doubt. Having his siblings arrive like a mismatched dream team had given him faith, something he’d been lacking for a long time. Now it was time to put some of that faith in himself.

  If he and Sage were going to face each other on equal ground, there was still a mountain he needed to climb. Or a pit he needed to descend into, rather.

  Growing anxious over not having her in his sight, Belmont made sure the towel was tucked securely around his waist and pushed out of the bathroom. Steam followed him into the room, swirling around Sage, making her look like even more of a fantasy than she already did. Peggy must have brought her over a change of clothes while Belmont had been showering, thank God, because her black dress had been replaced by a soft blue one. He gulped over the way the top button sat between her breasts, lower than usual. The way her hands gripped the edge of the bed, knees pressed together as she looked up at him. So sweet and serious.

  Belmont stooped down near the dresser, snagged a pair of briefs and the closest jeans from his suitcase, and put both on beneath the towel, before letting it drop. He didn’t want to put on a shirt, though, because even a thin layer of cotton would be a barrier between Sage and his heart—and he couldn’t stand the idea of that.

  He went to the window, keeping his back to the curtains. Sage stood. She took a sidestep. So did Belmont, but in the opposite direction. Sage backed up. Belmont eased forward. They orbited each other through the room, like Earth and the sun. The way they used to do before. Before Sibley.

  There was a weight in Belmont’s pocket and he recognized it as his pocketknife. One he needed often on the boat and had gotten used to carrying. And he was grateful for it now, because before anything else happened, he needed Sage to understand something. Keeping his gaze locked on her, Belmont removed the pocketknife, flipped open the blade, and dragged it across his palm, causing a flash of pain and a gasp from Sage. When the blood began to well, he turned his hand over, allowing the red stickiness to drip onto the center of the bed.

  “I’ll never again hold you down against your will, Sage.” He swallowed the burgeoning ache in his throat. “Tell me you believe me.”

  “Of course I do,” she breathed, floating toward his discarded towel on the floor. She stirred the air as she passed him, kicking off a fit of need in his belly. So strong. Stronger than ever because he’d almost lost her, and despite his common sense, there was no humanly possible way to deny the possessiveness. It was wrapped around his intestines like masking tape.

  There was a slight hesitation when Sage approached Belmont with the towel, probably because every inch of him was flexed, aware of her. He forced himself to relax, breathing deeply through his nose as she wrapped the towel around his hand. “Thank you for changing your dress. Thank you for wearing black.”

  A hitch in her ministrations. “Why are you thanking me for that?”

  “It was a signal to me that you didn’t want to go through with the wedding.” Her clean smell slipped along his senses. “I knew you didn’t, but…after how I behaved with you, I got confused here and there, wondering if you just wanted to be free of me.”

  “No. That wasn’t it, Belmont. You know it wasn’t, you just have to think.” She shook her head, forcing him to notice her hair was coming loose. Strands were curled against her sweet neck, into the back of the dress. It was hard in places, as if she’d used hairspray or something, and he quelled the impulse to carry her into the bathroom and wash it out. “You just have to think back,” she whispered, closing her hands around the towel and holding, soaking up his blood. “You have to remember me telling you I loved you.”

  Flashes of her mouth in the dark, her hands tracing his chest. “If I come back with a new body and mind in the next life, I will still remember that, Sage Alexander.”

  Her eyelashes swooped down to hide her eyes, but he caught the glimmer of happiness and clung to it hard. “I would remember you telling me, too.”

  “You’ve forgiven me for holding you down, then.”

  “Yes. God, yes.”

  “There’s no excuse.”

  “No. I know you won’t let me make any for you, either.”

  “Thank you.” He leaned down and let his nose hover an inch above her hair. Let himself inhale. “Thank you for knowing me that much.”

  She was waiting for him to touch her. Belmont could sense it. Or maybe she was trying to work up the courage to touch his bare chest, which was lunacy, because his skin was starved for her hands. But perhaps it was better they were both waiting. Waiting. Because there was more to be said and nothing—especially not another lie of omission—would lie between them ever again.

  “I’m staying here, Sage.” His heart cracked at the fear that flew into her hazel eyes. “I’m going back to work the mine.”

  “No. No, Bel—”

  He brought their mouths together and pressed, pressed hard, to quiet her protests. “I don’t know how long it’s going to take, but I will not make you the wife of half a man. I won’t have a single weakness when you lay down beneath me every night in our marriage bed. And I won’t raise our children knowing there’s an ounce of fear left inside of me. I will be the strongest man I can be. I will better myself in order to give you the best. And I will celebrate knowing that I can protect you and our children from anything. Darkness won’t be able to stop me. Nothing will. Not as a fearless man with a fearless woman as my wife.”

  “I am not fearless right now. I’m scared.” Her voice wobbled, puffs of her breath landing on his lips. “There won’t be any more darkness, Belmont. It’s over. Get in the Suburban with us and go to New York. It’s what your mother wanted.”

  “Miriam would understand, and I need you to try to do the same,” Belmont said, hating himself for making her afraid, even if there was no other course for him. “You almost married another man today because you didn’t trust me enough to wrestle my demons. And I don’t blame you, Sage. I won’t blame you. But I will not live our life together wondering if you’ll sacrifice yourself again on my behalf. Next time you’ll trust me. I won’t have it any other way.” He laid a kiss on her cheekbone. “Tell me you understand.”

  The conflict in her was huge. And there was a chance she could have broken him down if she tried hard enough, because a crying, pleading Sage would have sliced through him like a saber. But this was what made his woman the ultimate prize. What would make their life together timeless and full of untarnished beauty. They loved the worst versions of each other. And they loved the potential best, just as much. “Okay, Belmont.” S
he tucked her head underneath his chin. “Just as long as you know I would wait forever this time, if that’s what it takes. Forever and a day.”

  Relief blew into Belmont’s stomach. Gratefulness, too. And yes, there was anxiety over being separated from the woman who owned his heart and soul, but there would be no reversing his decision. It would be worth it when he saw the absolute trust in her eyes. That was the only way he could watch her drive away.

  They still weren’t touching. Nothing below the neck anyway, but Belmont needed Sage to initiate this time. It would be a damn long while before he forgot that split second of her struggling beneath him, so although it was difficult, he waited. The flesh behind the zipper of his jeans thickened and grew long, stretching the denim, his nipples turned to points, and his mouth hungered, but still he waited. And waited. He couldn’t see Sage’s face when her fingertips finally danced down the trail of hair leading to the button of his jeans, and he needed to judge her expression. So he pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilted back her head. There. Thank the Lord. There was eagerness and excitement and…curiosity.

  “You have some kind of look in your eye.” His thumb brushed back and forth on the crease of her chin. “I’d like to know what it means.”

  “It means, I want to take off your pants.” Her eyes were trained on his chest, wide and a little cloudy. “And I want you to take off my dress. I…we haven’t been naked together and you just talked about having children with me. I know why we’ve gone slow, but I—I don’t want to go slow right now.”

  “Yeah.” The organ housed in his rib cage knocked louder, and nothing could stop Belmont from dropping the towel wrapped around his hand and easing the top buttons of her dress free of their holes. “Me either.”

  “I want to…”

  He moaned when she started to unfasten his pants.

  “I want to give certain things to the man who will be my husband.”

  Belmont knew what she meant, but since he’d only ever considered the idea of Sage on her knees fleetingly, before shame shut him down, he’d never really imagined it happening. Or what being in her mouth would feel like, for longer than one or two licks. Be sure that’s what she means. If he put expectations on her she wasn’t comfortable with, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. “What are you aiming to do once my zipper is down, Sage?”

  Her answer was to fall into a kneeling position and Belmont swayed, using his own hair as an anchor for his hands as Sage tugged off his jeans. As she peeled down his briefs and released a rush of breath onto his hot flesh, she said, “I want to make it so you can’t hold back.” Her lips coasted up the entire length of him and Belmont’s vision blurred. “I want to give you every reason to hurry back to me.”

  “No, Sage,” he rasped, dropping his hands to her hair, curling his fingers in the strands. “I can’t live without you. I love you. I don’t need another reason—”

  “And I want to know the feel of you in my mouth,” she interrupted, her voice like a calm lake before a storm. “I’ve thought about it so long. How deep I’ll be able to take you.”

  “You’ve thought of me in your mouth.” His molars were ground together so tight, his words were almost indiscernible, even to his own ears. “All this while, I was trying not to.”

  Hazel peeked up at him from beneath her sweep of eyelashes. “Is it crazy if that’s another one of the reasons?”

  Belmont didn’t have another chance to answer because pleasure plowed into his middle like a battering ram wrapped in silk. He watched in disbelief as the top of his cock disappeared into Sage’s gorgeous mouth, a groan ripping from his throat as it slid back out. And then…then she surged forward again and took more. “God, almighty.”

  Her nails raked through the hair on his thighs, and after that, Belmont’s focus was split between incredible suction and trying not to come. The way she looked up at him didn’t help the situation at all, because her eyes were…lusty. She liked having him in her mouth. He’d never expected that. The times he’d pictured Sage taking him past her lips, there’d been uncertainty and shyness. No such reactions were anywhere to be found as she moaned her way up and down his inches, raking him with her teeth by accident and setting off a bonfire of need that would never go out. Never. No matter how many times she sucked him or made him come.

  “The motion of my boat,” he said on an exhale. “The way it rocks. That’s what made me think of you the most like this. I would go crazy on the water sometimes. The way the water rolls is me inside you. The way the water laps the side of the boat makes me think of your tongue—”

  “Doing this?” She flickered her pink tongue against his engorged head, but before he could answer, she lifted his fisted cock and tilted her head, wetting his balls with quick licks. “Or this?”

  “Yes,” he managed, his abdomen squeezing. “All, Sage. You’re the tide. You’re everything.”

  His words broke off into nothing when she sucked him deep, her lips moving far past the point she’d gone before. When his tip met resistance, black speckled his vision and he knew it had to be over. If his sensitive cock met her throat one more time, she’d be drinking him. And if he didn’t make love to this woman, his world wouldn’t be right when she left.

  He was letting her leave? Belmont’s heart constricted. What am I thinking?

  With a strangled sound of pure torture, Belmont lifted Sage to her feet, holding on to her when she proved unsteady. Pulling her up against his chest. Close. So close. Her lips were red and shiny from sucking his cock and it riled him. There was no room for jealousy between them. Oh no. But the shards of it were still there inside Belmont, lodged in secret places. Sage was his. Irrevocably. But she almost hadn’t been. She would forever be the one he confided in and trusted, so she needed to know how deep his devotion ran. When she drove out of Sibley, it would be ringing in her ears.

  Belmont looked down and realized his fingers had been busy unhooking the buttons of Sage’s dress. The garment was wide open, straight down the center, allowing him a view of her black underwear and matching bra, the hollow of her belly, her pushed-up breasts. Seeing what had been waiting beneath the dress had the possessive male inside him bristling, scratching to get loose. Sage seemed to recognize the change in him, too, because she whimpered and pushed the dress off her shoulders. And Belmont pounced.

  Her underwear became a scrap in seconds and cast aside. The bra was left on, purely because he couldn’t wait another second to be connected with her. They moved like one fluid unit, Belmont stooping down, Sage leaping, wrapping her legs around his waist. Lord, he loved holding all her weight. Wanted to carry her through deserts and rainstorms and over thresholds. Her heat settled on top of his erection just as Belmont moved to claim her mouth and they groaned in unison, hips rolling, tongues mating.

  Sage’s eager mouth was paradise, her knees writhing on his hips to keep her aloft. He leaned back and let her climb his body, slip down, scale him again, the slick moves rubbing her pussy up and down the length of his cock. His cock, which she finally trapped between their bodies, beginning a rough humping rhythm, little sobs killing him as she sent them into his mouth.

  Between the slide of Sage’s curves and the images of her on the floor, looking up at him, Belmont needed to get inside her. The need was immediate and consuming. By the time he reached beneath Sage’s bottom and guided his length to her pussy, easing in the first few inches, he was chanting her name like a prayer. His voice got louder when she dug her nails into his shoulders and tossed her head back, working her hips, working, working, until he was firmly planted. All the way inside his woman and still not deep enough.

  “God, Sage. God,” he gritted against her throat, unable to resist bouncing her once, trying to sink another inch inside her tightness. “Before I fuck you, listen to something for me. Look at me and hear my words.”

  “Yes. Tell me,” she said unevenly. “Yes.”

  He took one step and propped her backside on the close
st piece of furniture, jostling her on his cock and making his breath go choppy. Taking the sides of her face in his hands, he leaned in and brought their faces an inch apart. “Nothing in this world would have stopped me from fighting for you today. No one could drag me away. Do you hear me?” He waited for her stilted nod. “If I’d come too late to the church, and you had married that man today, I would have stayed in Sibley and fought. Every day for the rest of my life. Nothing and no one can test my love or take it from me. Take you from me. Do you understand that?”

  She sucked in a gulp of breath. “Yes.” Her arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers tunneling into his hair. “I wouldn’t have been able to keep myself from fighting, too. For us. I wouldn’t know how to see you and not touch you. Not feel you touching me.”

  “It’s even better now, isn’t it? The way we touch.” His mouth raked up her ear, burrowing in the strands of hair near her temple. “We know each other more now. Your thoughts aren’t a mystery now and I love it. This is right.”

  He missed her answer because his body began moving without permission. There were these little muscles between her thighs that kept flexing and making his blood pound. And he thanked God he’d pinned her to the furniture, because without every ounce of available friction, he would have gone crazy. Out of his mind. But it seemed as if he might reach that point anyway, because that first drive…God in heaven, it sent his balls up into his stomach.

  Belmont hissed over the sweet agony. “Are you…did I make you wet enough? You feel slippery, but I should have—”

  “I’m perfect.” Her eyelids drooped, her puffy lips in the shape of an O. “Don’t stop.”

  “Condom, Sage.” He fell forward, burying his face in her neck, misery leaking from his every pore. “I forgot the condom.”