Find Her Page 4

  “How else do you mean it?”

  His eyes searched her face for a heavy beat and what she saw in the depths made her pulse kick into a furious pace. “I’m sorry, but I need to keep you.”

  Her eyebrows shot up. “For how long?”

  “As long as it takes me to write all the songs you just put in my head.” He dropped his head forward and pressed a line of reverent kisses between her breasts. “The thing is, there’s at least a million songs up there now. And if I write, let’s say, a hundred per month, you’d still be sticking around for quite a while.” His mouth closed over hers in a passionate dance of tongues, his hips parting her thighs with insistent writhes and settling in, like their proud new owner. “More songs are probably going to pile up, too, so we have to account for those…”

  “Johnny.”

  He lifted his head, his hair in a mess from her fingers. “Huh, baby?”

  “Are you asking me to come on the road with you?”

  “No. I’m begging.”

  Above all else, Hope had always believed in magic—and if she’d been looking for some lately, she’d just been dropped into a cyclone of the stuff. This was…real. This man whose voice had been the soundtrack to her life for so long…his soul had nudged hers from up on that stage. She hadn’t been imagining it. And the way he was looking at her right now? Like his whole world was in the balance? Meant he’d experienced that same soul nudge.

  Only now it was a full-on soul tackle. No more nudging.

  If Hope closed her eyes, she could almost feel that deepest, innermost part of them trying to combine into one. Maybe it had already happened, because their heartbeats were pressed together, clanging in the same crazy rhythm. They breathed each other in and out and her body yearned to get closer, to be possessed and possess in return.

  “I’ll go,” she whispered, a laugh fluttering up her throat. “Oh my God, I’ll go with you.”

  Johnny didn’t move or breathe for a full three seconds, then his breath came out in a rush. “Hope.” He kissed her hard. “Christ, thank God. I’m not crazy, right? This is…”

  She shook her head. “Not crazy. It is…magic.”

  “Yeah.” He nodded, gaze intense. “That, too.”

  Before Hope could question the implication of what he’d said, Johnny interlocked their lips and breathed in and out, while his hand tugged down her panties. His tongue teased hers with light touches, distracting her—almost—from the sound of his zipper coming down, the thud of his shoes and jeans hitting the floor. This morning, Hope would have hyperventilated at the idea of being completely naked with Johnny Scott, preparing to give him her virginity, but at that moment, he was the honest, caring, soulful man she’d met that night—not a world-famous rock God.

  Although…he most definitely did look like Johnny Scott, guitar god and growler of words, as he licked the corner of his mouth and fisted his shaft, peering down at her through the hair that fell across his eyes before a tweak of his head sent it flying. His bicep flexed with a stroke of his erection and the tattoo painted on its surface danced. Suddenly Hope’s heartbeat was rapping against her eardrums, moisture coasting down her inner thighs…moisture that Johnny dragged his cockhead through with a hiss of her name.

  “You’re ready for me.”

  “Oh my god, yes,” she whispered.

  He dropped down on top of Hope, tightly aligning their bodies, and they breathed laughter into each other’s mouths as he guided himself inside her, inch by inch, stretching her intimate muscles. And when he was about halfway in, Hope stopped laughing.

  Johnny’s eyes were glazed over, but concerned, when he looked at her. “Hope,” he said gruffly, leaning down to kiss her jawline. “It’s going to be all right. Let me in.”

  She nodded and forced herself to relax.

  His lips trailed over her temple, stopping in the center of her forehead. She felt his muscles tense a split second before he drove home. With a sucked in breath at the flash of pain, Hope’s knees shot up and dug into Johnny’s ribcage, which was dipping and expanding on shallow breaths. God, oh God, he was so huge inside of her, she literally felt pinned to the mattress. If he moved, she was going to scream. Just as her nerves starting to win, she heard Johnny’s voice in her ear. It wasn’t just any song he sang, either. It was “Undertow.” The song that had never made it to a full album, was never sung at concerts.

  The one he shared with no one.

  And it was like a balm spreading across every fiber of her being.

  “When my work is spinning and the lights go low. Who will save me from the undertow…?” he finished the song, meeting her eyes. “How’d I write a song for you when we hadn’t met yet, baby?”

  Oh wow. I’m in love with Johnny Scott.

  The moment engraved itself on her soul, never to be taken away. Her heart’s decision never to be reversed. She was in love with this man, the one she’d met tonight, and her body relaxed, accepting his larger one, softening around his hardness. Johnny must have felt the way she melted around him, because his mouth fell open on a groan, hips twisting, giving a hard push forward and sliding Hope’s body up and back on the comforter.

  Pleasure spiked in her belly like a streak of lightning across the sky and she sobbed his name, her hips lifting off the bed to meet his next thrust. The impact of his drives grew more and more intense until Hope’s head met the headboard and Johnny had to brace a hand there to keep her from getting hurt, but his lower body never ceased its rough thrusts, his mouth never stopped devouring hers, only breaking away for ragged inhales of oxygen.

  “Hope?”

  “Yes,” she managed, receiving a hard grind of his shaft, deep, deep inside her.

  “This is fucking. You don’t do it with anyone but me. Ever.”

  A muscle beneath her belly button spasmed and twisted, signing the mother of all climaxes, if she wasn’t mistaken, because that never happened before. “Like I’d want to be with anyone else.”

  She heard him swallow. “This is making love, too. I get that all to myself as well.”

  “Yes, Johnny.”

  Johnny laid his hand over her heart. “Mine.” He sank her into a quick but thorough kiss, her blood rushing at the sensation of his rigid flesh pulsing, hot and thick inside of her. Eager, needing satisfaction. “Claim me back now,” he breathed, raking his open mouth down to the hollow of her throat and back up to her ear. “I want words from you.”

  “Mine back,” Hope whispered, her fingers fluttering over his heartbeat.

  “Say it louder,” Johnny ordered, nipping her lobe with his teeth.

  “Mine back!”

  “That’s right. Now give me the rest. You own this cock now and you better say so.”

  Oh God. Ticklish warmth drifted lower in Hope’s belly and her hips bucked involuntarily, as if Johnny held the puppet strings to her pleasure. Could she say something like that out loud? She wanted to, she realized. His possessiveness was coaxing her own to life and before she knew it, her mouth was opening, letting out a throaty voice she barely recognized. “I own it.”

  He rammed into her with a growl, making the headboard slap against the wall. “Own what? Or maybe you need me to put it in your mouth until you know what it’s called.”

  That idea excited Hope, but right now, if he stopped pumping in and out of her body, driving her toward the precipice, she might die. “I own your cock,” she gasped. “It’s mine.”

  “Fuck. Almost busted hearing you say that. Good girl,” he pushed through clenched teeth. “Now open your thighs a little wider, baby, and let me work your clit. You’ve already got me ready to finish.”

  “When I open my legs wider, you feel so big.”

  His expression was at once both sympathetic and hungry. “Feel so big, how?”

  “Like I can’t tell where the pleasure is going to end…it almost hurts how good it feels.”

  “Lean into it.” His hips worked faster, those big hands scooping beneath her body to cup her bott
om, hold her steady while he claimed her again and again with harsh groans, the bed beginning to creak under them. “I’ve got you, Hope. Legs wide. I need to get deeper.”

  “But—”

  Johnny’s forehead met hers and his internationally renowned lead singer voice emerged in a powerful growl. “Open your fucking thighs, girl.”

  Hope’s body obeyed without permission from her brain. She whimpered, her knees hit the mattress, Johnny surged forward and went even deeper than Hope knew was possible—and she toppled off the cliff of pleasure with a startled scream. Her toes dug into the bed, her fingernails raking down Johnny’s back and pain, relief, bliss scrambled her senses, clenching and unclenching the tiny muscles at her core. She watched through half-mast eyes as the most beautiful man alive bit down on his lower lip, his big, tattooed shoulders starting to shake, and was awestruck at the heaven they’d just given each other. Sticky heat bloomed between her legs and she tightened her legs around Johnny’s hips on instinct, wanted to keep everything their bodies had produced together.

  “Hope. Baby. I can’t stop. I’ve never—fuck, I’m coming more. Can’t believe there’s more.” He fell onto her and drove home on final time, his rasping breaths heating her neck, their bodies transferring sweat, moisture coating her inner thighs, the bed. “Jesus Christ,” he ground out, his chest heaving, hips still rolling against hers, as if he couldn’t help it.

  They lay that way for a few more seconds, before Johnny lifted his head and stared down at Hope in wonder. He visibly shook himself and eased to one side, but not even a split second passed before she was being wrapped in Johnny’s arms—and Hope’s soul sighed, knowing she was home.

  “There’s everything else…and then there’s you and me, Hope,” he murmured into her hair, laying a kiss on her temple. “Sleep, baby. Lots of changes happening tomorrow. Good ones.”

  And as Hope fell asleep, she decided to believe Johnny. Even though there was an annoying tug in her belly telling Hope that while magic was real, sometimes it was elusive.

  Or too good to be true.

  *

  Hope woke up before Johnny and couldn’t help but stare at his amply inked, muscular physique sprawled out in the white sheets. Had she really made this rock god shake with pleasure last night?

  Yes, she had.

  And he’d done the same for her. In fact, she was kind of trembling on the inside right now. In the light of day, her decision to leave her life behind and go on the tour seemed so…insane. Real. Imminent.

  Also? Amazing.

  Her heart told her this was right. Johnny was right.

  If she watched him leave town today and didn’t follow, her soul would go with him. So she was going to take this ride and trust the magic. Her heart wasn’t giving her a choice.

  With a smile on her face, Hope snuck out of bed. If she was going to tell her brother this morning that she was running away with a rock star, she definitely needed chocolate. Lots of it. There was no better place to procure that sweet sustenance than Buck’s Donut Shop. It was just down the street from Johnny’s hotel, and who knew when she’d be back in town? She was going to miss her favorite pit stop and wanted to share her final bear claw with Johnny. She’d pop out really fast and be back before he woke up.

  Without making a sound, Hope got dressed and tiptoed out of the hotel room. She passed a security guard on the way out, and while he seemed genuinely surprised to see her, he only mumbled hello and went back to reading a magazine. In record time, she made it to Buck’s and bought a baker’s dozen of all her favorites before heading back to the hotel. She snuck a bite of a jelly donut in the elevator and was still licking glaze from her finger when she stepped off—and stopped short.

  The security guard who’d been stationed outside Johnny’s room when she left was no longer there. He’d been replaced by someone else. Someone who rose from his chair at her appearance and crossed both arms over his chest, giving Hope a condescending once over.

  “If you think you’re going to bribe your way into Johnny Scott’s room with those, it’s not happening, sweetheart. But nice try.”

  Confused, Hope frowned down at the box. “Oh. No, I…” She shook her head and laughed. “No, these are for me and Johnny. I was already in there. I’m…”

  When the man raised a skeptical brow and let his gaze roam over her body, Hope’s stomach knotted up like a pretzel. Her walk to the donut shop hadn’t felt like a so-called walk of shame, but the way this security guard scrutinized Hope made her want to set the pink donut box down and cover herself.

  “Sorry, maybe…could you knock on the door and let Johnny know I’m out here?”

  He chuckled. “Yeah right. I just got this job. I’m not going to lose it because some groupie asked me to wake up Johnny Scott to announce her illustrious presence.” He took a step closer. “Maybe you didn’t notice, but there are thousands of girls all wanting the same thing. Her big shot with a rock star. That’s why I’m here. To stand between you and the talent.”

  Hope’s face smarted like she’d been slapped. The happy glow from last night was fading and with every second that passed, she was feeling more and more like an imposter. But, no. What happened between her and Johnny last night was real. Right? Any minute now, he was going to wake up and wonder where she’d gone. “You have it wrong,” Hope said patiently. “I’m going on the road with Citizen starting today—”

  The security guard cut her off with a laugh. “Oh really? You’ve been asked to come along as a permanent cock block?” He gave her a thumbs up. “Sure. Sounds plausible. If I had every girl on the planet wanting to give me some tail, I’d definitely fuck that up for myself.” He ran his tongue along the inside of his lip. “Not that you ain’t cute as a button, sweetheart.”

  Sound crackled in Hope’s ears, a pit yawning wide in her belly.

  Whereas half an hour ago, the world had been full of magic and possibilities, now she couldn’t help but wonder…was the security guard right in a way? She’d seen the mass of women screaming Johnny’s name last night. What made her any different than them? Wasn’t it arrogant to believe for even a second that she’d be the one to make him happy?

  “I, um…” She fumbled the box of donuts, catching them just before they spilled out onto the ground. “W-well, I guess—”

  “You seem like a sweet kid.” He adjusted his security belt. “And fine, you spent the night with Johnny Scott. Lucky you. But take it from me, men say all kinds of things in the heat of the moment and regret the shit out of it the next morning.” He sighed. “Look, I didn’t want to tell you this, sweetheart. But while you were out gathering baked goods and dreaming of a white picket fence, Johnny told me as much about your little encounter. That’s all it was—and now he wants to get back to being a giant star. He asked me to pass on his regards.”

  Hope couldn’t get a decent breath. “He did?”

  “Yeah. Run on home to mommy and tell the grandkids about your big night someday. I’m sure they’ll be really impressed.” He gave her another lecherous once over. “Or if you’re still feeling frisky and willing to settle for a security guard, I’ve got an hour before the tour bus heads to the airport…”

  Hope was already turning and slapping the down button of the escalator.

  Stupid. She’d been stupid and naïve.

  She had to get out of there before Johnny woke up. If he’d invited her on the road in the passion of the moment, she didn’t want to be loitering outside his room to make everything uncomfortable. Worse, she didn’t want to be let down easy. Or at all.

  Her heart was already broken, she had to salvage what she could.

  Hope swiped at the tears sliding down her cheeks as the elevator went down. She handed the pink donut box to a second, familiar-looking security guard in the lobby and jumped into a taxi that was idling at the curb outside the hotel.

  “Where are you headed, miss?”

  She glanced back through the taxi window up at the opulent hotel. A voice in t
he back of her head whispered for her to go back, but she ignored it resolutely. She would always believe in magic, but maybe it was time to start being more realistic. “Home, please,” she murmured, before giving her driver the address.

  Chapter Five

  Johnny woke up feeling light as a feather.

  Until he opened his eyes and experienced that lack of weight on his chest, he didn’t realize how long he’d been living with it. Damn, he could finally breathe again.

  It wasn’t enough, though, just to have this lightness. He wanted to fortify it. Keep it. And that meant no more locking himself up in hotel rooms to avoid the noise. No, he needed to find a new way to manage his notoriety, now that Hope was in his life. A way that wouldn’t lead to him being miserable, his creativity sapped.

  Hope didn’t like being locked up, either, but he needed her safe above all else. It was only a matter of time before the press got wind of him having a serious girlfriend and then they’d start hounding her, following her, prying into their private life. She was taking a huge leap of faith coming with him on tour, considering she didn’t like being confined and he spent a good deal of his time that way. So before he tackled the nine million songs circling in his head, he needed to ensure Hope’s happiness. He wouldn’t rest until that happened.

  Open space. His Hope loved open space.

  His house in Los Angeles was big, but it was surrounded by a fence, more houses beyond that. A congested city in the distance. Yeah, LA was the furthest thing from open space.

  Serene scenes spread out in his mind. A pasture, a sunset, a back porch with a porch swing. He hadn’t conjured those images himself. They were real. Last year, Citizen had filmed a music video at a ranch in Wyoming—had anyone been living there? He didn’t think so. As soon as he made love to Hope—twice—he’d get his agent on the phone and find out. Hope would love the ranch. It was private, secure and he suddenly wanted to bring her there so bad, his pulse was tumbling end over end.

  Johnny’s head wasn’t so up his ass that he believed Hope could be happy just being Johnny Scott’s girlfriend—and eventually his wife—forever, though. She had dreams of her own. Social work. Helping kids who lived through what she did. Johnny wanted to help give those dreams to her. If she didn’t want to be stuck in a classroom, maybe they could set up some kind of charity together to benefit orphans like Hope. That way she could accomplish her goals without being confined in a way that made her uncomfortable.